My Story
Serving women is the way I turnt my pain into purpose. I have literally built a business from the place that was the darkest for me.
I have two beautiful children Nevan (6 yrs old) and Nygee (4 yrs old).
While pregnant with my oldest I dove into what I thought it would take to be the best mom. I read so many books on baby and caring for baby. I took classes, watched Youtube videos... all on baby. I was given advice from countless mothers on… you guessed it. Baby.
Somehow “ME” / Mama was never mentioned.
Somehow “the care of Mother” didn’t come up.
My husband was very much present, but had broken his hip. This added to the pressure I placed on myself. I needed to keep it together for him as well, so he wouldn’t feel burdened. After all, I could take it right? I was the strong one.
My mom came for my son’s birth and stayed a few days. I still remember how I felt when she was about to leave. Scared as hell… terrified I was going to do something to mess “him” (my baby) up. Knowing when she walked out the door that would leave me, my son and my husband alone, states and states away from any relatives.
My mom’s departure made me feel nauseous.
I found myself home alone with my son and sad.
I felt cold, like I was missing something but I couldn't explain what.
But when I went to my OBGYN and she asked how I was doing, I lied.
And told her I was fine.
Because all my life, I’ve been the strong one.
The one that supports others.
The one that doesn’t need help.
The one that’s got it together.
But the truth was, I wasn't ready to support ME!
And I felt if I told my doctor about needing support, that I would lose my role as the Strong Person I had worked so hard to obtain.
I was a lot of things to a lot of people and up until the blessing of my son’s presence, that had never been challenged.
I felt like I couldn’t not be okay.
If I admitted the truth, that I wanted to take a break from my son to get my nails done… the world would've known I was a Bad Mother... And I felt guilty for even thinking these thoughts. Because surely wanting a minute for myself was the worst idea EVER… at least, that’s what I felt at the time.
So I keep it to myself and I suffered. I moved through life in a constant battle with myself.
I woke up exhausted everyday. It was a lot to continue the fight to prove to myself I was stronger than what I felt. I was constantly resisting the urge to ask for help.
I kept this charade up. Ignoring the exhaustion, depression and pain.
Hopeful that I’d eventually snap out of it.
I moved my attention away from my pain and towards my son. I began ordering all kinds of learning tools for him. Using fake smiles to interact with the delivery man was normal for me. Eventually, I couldn’t even muster up the energy for those fake smiles and instead I’d wait for him to leave the package before I went to get it.
Because I knew he knew the truth: I was a Bad Mother.
Then, one day, it happened.
I surrendered.
I cried out to God to show me how to get out. I vowed I would help serve other women to prevent this from happening to them. Instantly, things I needed started making their way to me. I began meditating and receiving downloads from God. It’s funny, while prayer was always a part of my life meditation was not. I’d never sat and waited to hear. I was always talking… like that chatty friend that won't let you get a word in.
Slowly, I began piecing together what I needed. My eyes opened to my reality and my heart opened even more. The truth was: my relationship with myself was shitty.
I focused so much on everyone else I didn’t take care of me. I was used to loving on me with things I couldn't do any more with baby. Get my nails done, get my hair done, etc. All these things were so surface… nothing that truly nurtured me. Steadily, I found my voice and begin sharing what was happening to me.
When I finally told my OBGYN, I learned I’d experienced Postpartum Depression.
I had no idea, it had never been explained to me the way I experienced it.
It’s from this place - the dark before dawn - that Evolve with Vella was birthed. And it’s from this place that I choose to take a stand for those who mother. Together, let’s remove the shame and stigma of the postpartum experience.
My work is rooted in:
In the long lineage: healers that came before me
My definition of the word healer is simply someone who hold the container , while someone does their own inner work) in the process of healing on every level (be it mind, body, and spirit). The women in my family positioned themselves to serve as conduits and allow spirit to flow. From Pastors, Reverends, Evangelist, Home Makers, Nurses, Farmers, Midwives, Medicine women etc. What I do run deep within me (it was almost like a rites of passage when I said yes to my calling).
My ancestors: a remembering
My grandmother's Robertha Miller and Lucy Rush flood my mind when the word ancestors are mentioned. Both were Home Maker’s like myself. Robertha Miller birthed 9 full term babies AT HOME. No medicine, no extra assistance, just her, her midwife and her trust in her intuition to keep going. Lucy Rush birthed 8 babies at home with in that same fashion. Grandma Lucy was also a farmer and she and my Grandma Bert shared crops. They worked together, they used what their mothers taught them and what their mother’s mothers taught them.
In my recent lineage: who I learned from, my teachers
Acknowledgement: Roberta Miller, Lucy Rush, Shelia Miller Rush, Bertha Hyde, Peggie Miller, Connie Miller, Cookie Miller, SallyMae Rush, Sadie Rush, Verla Rushing, Shirleen Rush (white roses)
I feel most lead by:
Holy Spirit and my desire to continue to serve women who are where I once was
I’m currently focusing on:
Remembering and returning to a more holistic lifestyle and to continue deepening my connection with myself. I feel like this is an ongoing process that never truly ends. Only when I do it for me can I truly serve from a place of experience. The way that looks currently is deepening my meditation practice and studying to become a Herbalist.
Official Bio
I’m Vella, a Holistic Wellness Coach, Postpartum Care Provider and mother. I stand for those who mother by removing shame and stigma throughout the postpartum experience. After doing my own work and healing, serving women turnt my pain into purpose. I used to think that being the strong one meant not asking for support. Because I was the one that supports others. The one that doesn’t need help. The one that’s got it together. Now, I know better. After experiencing postpartum depression - the dark before dawn - Evolve with Vella was birthed. And it’s through this work that I coach and support those who mother back into health. Together, let’s remove the shame and stigma of the postpartum experience.
